I apologize in advance.

Sunshine, 16.

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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Simon and Kieren meet for the first time, basically like this....

  • Kieren: Hey! That's my grave!
  • Simon: *psshh yeah whatever... I do what--* *turns*
  • Simon:
  • Simon:
  • Simon: .... *I want*
  • Simon: *quick Monroe, think of something! Find common interests! Like... ULA? Messiahs? Jumpers??*
  • Kieren: Well maybe--
  • Simon: *vomits poetry*
  • Kieren: ..................
  • Simon:
  • Simon: *nailed it*

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was